A blog about Star Wars and especially about my thoughts and ideas and musings as we wait for Episode VII.

lørdag 31. mai 2014

Scenes I - VII

Aaawright, I've been toying with Scrivener, writing up the first draft of the first seven (short) scenes of "my" Star Wars: The Dark Legacy. The beginning went in a totally different direction than I had originally intended, because since I first began to dream of a seventh story in the saga, rumor has it that Han Solo is an important piece of the story line. I've gone away from my initial thoughts of exploring the Force and the ghost-thingy to rethinking it into a simpler storyline that has more in common with the original Star Wars with perhaps a dash of the drama of The Empire Strikes Back. After all, those are the two actually excellent films in the saga, right? In fact, if there's no Force ghosts in the sequel trilogy I'd be more than happy. I always thought the concept one of the weakest parts of the original trilogy (and they actually managed to weaken the weakest part in the prequels but that's another story). No, I believe now that Star Wars VII shouldn't concern itself overly with the grand mythology of the saga - instead, keep the esoteric parts under lid, like it was done in the first two films. It's there, but not in your face. No need for long, boring speeches while walking around in CGI-lit hallways of nothingness. Action and adventure, those are the things a Jedi crave!

Anyway, here are seven scenes in chronological order to start off Star Wars VII: The Dark Legacy. I am not saying this is well written material but the core idea is in place, which is: Two young characters arrive on desolate planet to seek and find the legendary captain Han Solo.  I haven't thought of an opening crawl yet. In this first rough vision, which I admit lacks a little bit color and zest, there is one wink to a line spoken by Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back ("Yeah, you're a real hero") and even that I feel is taking it too far (can you imagine how I felt with the endless nods and winks in the prequels)? I am also not sure about the whole "...father" reveal, which I guess is quite warsy, but also silly. Now, I know I don't know how they will re-introduce Solo in the actual film, but I think it would be a good choice if Han and Leia parted, thus setting up a plot line where they can find back to each other again. It's at least better than just having them happily married the last thirty years. While strolling the CGI-lit hallways of nothingness. ANYWAY, what do you think? If something like this occurred before your eyes in the cinema at the end of next year, would you be groaning with agitation or moaning with pleasure? Or something in between? I feel the weakest part right now is the last part, where Han is revealed to be Han; the dialogue feels stiff and unnatural; I need to think of a good way to introduce these characters to each other; it should be obvious that the two young ones hold no high ideas about their father, think of him as a loser who ran away on their mother, which could be another layer to the story - Han Solo gaining the acceptance of his kids...I don't know. All this family stuff tends to become icky and dramatic (and not necessarily in a good way). It sure has to be brief so we can get to the lasers and the starships and the planet hopping.

Against the backdrop of space, the familiar title crawl appears to the music of John Williams.
STAR WARS
EPISODE VII
THE DARK LEGACY

[Here comes the title crawl]

The camera pans sideways to reveal a string of planetoids of various colors and patterns.
From below, a small starcraft zips into view, following a trajectory that takes it along the planetoids.
A closer look reveals that the spacecraft is a Scimitar class shuttle, an improved design based on the Lambda class shuttle seen in Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. It is smaller and faster, with red stripes adorning the wings.
It passes the closest (to the camera) of the planetoids as it drifts by and out of view, then moves past the second closest, a grey world with white clouds roiling across the surface.

INT. SCIMITAR-CLASS SHUTTLE
Inside the cockpit, we see two characters, a young man and a young woman. The man is steering the vessel, while the girl is studying a radar screen display. Its red light gives her face an orange glow. She wears a metallic band on her head, with a small antenna attached on one side. The man wears a dark blue jacket. They both have dark brown hair.
ESTEL:
"It must be that one. The red moon."
JAKE:
"You sure?"
ESTEL
(Twitching her mouth as she looks at him)
"Just land on the far side."

EXT. THE RED MOON
The Scimitar-class shuttle lands in a deep, shadowy canyon. Dust whirls. A landing ramp is lowered, and the sound of starting engines can be heard just as the ship's engines' noise fades away.
The young man and the young woman exit the shuttle, leading a speeder bike each. The machines hover at their sides as they strap on their helmets with goggles. Estel wears a dark red pilot suit and a tracking device is strapped to her thigh, with a tube going to a generator strapped to her back.
YOUNG MAN:
"Must be pretty lonely out here, even for him."
YOUNG WOMAN:
"Let's go."


EXT. THE RED MOON CANYON
The two characters race through the canyon on their speeder bikes at dizzying speeds, avoiding natural obstacles as they move close to their target. Several shots show them from different angles as they speed through the dusty, rocky landscape.
ESTEL
(Talking to her companion in a comlink)
"All right, we're close."
JAKE
(Breaks and stops the speeder bike, dust whirling around him)
"Why would he want to live on this forsaken world?"

EXT. THE RED MOON HIDEOUT
The two characters move with stealth through the canyon on foot. The young man looks through a pair of binoculars.
JAKE
"There."
Through the binoculars, we see a structure built into the side of the canyon. A cylindrical building is built half into the rock, with a few windows looking into the canyon. Next to it sits a dilapidated, low building with a rusty roof, a porch, and garbage - mechanical parts mostly - surrounding it all. It looks like no one has lived here for a long time.
ESTEL
(sarcastic)
"What a beautiful place..."
JAKE
"Wait, there's someone there."
Through the binoculars, we see someone moving on the porch, hidden by the shadows. A pair of brown, tattered boots resting on the porch fence now move away.
(V.O.) ESTEL
"Is it him?"
The young man is about to reply, when a laser is shot from the porch toward them, hitting a stalagmite near the man. They scramble for cover, surprised.
JAKE
"I wouldn't be surprised."

EXT. THE RED MOON HIDEOUT

The stranger in the shadows of the porch takes a step forward - the silhouette of a man peering toward where the two characters are hiding. We see the man from behind, with longish gray hair and a dusty poncho, holding a blaster rifle in his hands, aiming toward the two characters.
THE STRANGER
"Come out so I can see you."
The two young characters come forward, hands in the air. The stranger puts one arm on the porch rail. His jaw comes out in the light, revealing a scar below the lips.
THE STRANGER
"I don't like trespassers on my property."
ESTEL
"We are looking for a hero."
THE STRANGER
"Go see the neighbors. They live on the next planet. Maybe they've got a hero hidden on their farm."
JAKE
"Mister, with all due respect..."
The two young characters move slowly, carefully, toward the man on the porch. He wears a wide-brimmed hat shadowing his face. A couple of empty bottles lie on the porch at his feet. The stranger raises his rifle again. The two young characters stop in their tracks.
THE STRANGER
"There are no heroes on this ball of dust."
ESTEL
"A war hero, who helped destroy the galactic Empire."
THE STRANGER
"You're off your boosters."
JAKE
"You are hiding a ship in there, aren't you?"
The young man nods toward the silo-like structure next to the cabin. The stranger shakes his head.
ESTEL
"We are looking for a ship called the Millenium Falcon. We tracked it here."
JAKE
"It's captain was a man named Han Solo."
The stranger takes a step back, lowers his rifle. He stares, dumbfounded, at the tracking device Estel carries. There is a moment of silence. A gust of wind blows dust and debris through the canyon.
THE STRANGER
"Never heard of him."
JAKE
"Can we come up or are you going to shoot us down, mister?"
THE STRANGER
"Maybe I won that ship in a game."
YOUNG WOMAN
"Maybe you did."
THE STRANGER
"I don't understand how you could track her but..."
Suddenly, rocks and pebbles burst forth from the earth, and a slimy rock-burrowing worm with stone-like scales erupts to attack the two young characters. A tentacled mouth opens toward them. Before they can react, the man on the porch fires his rifle twice, shooting the monster in the head and it disappears down the hole it came from.

THE STRANGER
"You're in their territory."
ESTEL
"T-thank you. We didn't know..."
THE STRANGER
"Come up here."
JAKE
"You sure know how to shoot, mister."
They take the creaking steps up to the porch, and finally get a good look at the old man with the rifle. It is Han Solo, captain of the Millenium Falcon...but he is not looking his best.
HAN SOLO
"Lots of rockworm in these parts."
Han sits down in a rickety chair, puts his boots back up on the porch railing, pulls the hat back on his brow.
HAN SOLO
"Now tell me, how were you able to track the Falcon, and who sent you?"
ESTEL
"A woman from your past sent us."
HAN SOLO
(grinning)
"I've known a lot of women. You've got to be more specific."
JAKE
"You loved her. And then you left her."
Han Solo's eyes widen as realization dawns on him.
HAN SOLO
"Leia! Leia sent you?"
ESTEL
"She needs this man's help. You sure you don't know a Han Solo hiding out on this planet?"
HAN SOLO
"I guess I do."
Han Solo gestures with a shrug and holding out his arms, and Estel and Jake realize that this man is the one they have been looking for.
ESTEL
"Did you know that after you left her, she learned that she was pregnant?"
Han Solo looks confused, scratches his head, and the hat falls off.
JAKE
"She gave birth to twins."
ESTEL
"A boy and a girl."
Han Solo's eyes widen.
HAN SOLO
"She would have told me..."
ESTEL
"Maybe she realized that the man she loved wouldn't take the responsibility."
JAKE
"A real hero."
ESTEL
"But now she has no choice. Only you can help her. Please....father."


4 kommentarer:

  1. And now that I put it out there, I already see some stuff I'm definitely going to change (mainly need to write stronger dialogue, it's so...bland). The ending of the scene too needs so much spice it would fill a space cruiser. Oh well, that will be for another day. Meanwhile, we anticipate more exciting rumors and leaks as production has seemingly ramped up. Boy they have been good at keeping things under wraps, that's for sure.

    SvarSlett
  2. I like it! I would have liked to see a little more personality from the twins though; not a lot of extra dialogue, just enough to demonstrate their basic personalities. I like the reveal of Han Solo and the idea of the OT heroes winding up not quite how we may have expected them to. It incites curiosity and makes us wonder what happened to them. (If they go the predictable route of Han-Leia married, Leia a Senator, Luke a Jedi instructor, I'll be pretty disappointed).

    - a former TF.net Bashers Sanctuary lurker.

    SvarSlett
  3. Hey, wow! Thanks for reading and commenting :-) Yes, I agree I should probably put some more personality in there. I feel the girl (I suppose she would be "Jaina Solo" in the EU but I call her Estel out of spite) has shown to be a little bit like her old man, that is, sarcastic, but Jake isn't showing much personality, true - I suppose I should make him a bit like Leia, quarrelsome kind of. Yes, I agree it would be a smart choice by the writers to start off on a somewhat unexpected note. I hope they do.

    SvarSlett
  4. I liked it too. Apart from some slightly clunky dialogue in places, there was a good atmosphere. And I liked the "father"-ending.

    SvarSlett